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Chapter 168 - NOT OKAY

I woke up to the sound of a woman crying. My eyes slowly opened. At first, I couldn\'t see anything. The sudden light made my vision all blurry. I blinked my eyes several times until my sight finally adjusted to my environment. When my gaze cleared, I saw Claire seated on the chair beside my hospital bed. Her shoulders shook violently as she sobbed. Beside her, father stood comforting her as she poured all her heart out.

The moment my eyes shifted to the flawless white ceiling and the plain white walls, I knew exactly I was inside a private hospitalital room. And that fact alone was enough to scare the hell out of me.

My eyes shifted back to Claire\'s beet red face. Her eyes were swollen and she looked as if she\'d been crying for hours. She was preoccupied with her tears that she didn\'t even notice I was awake. Even my father who was standing beside Ace\'s mother and comforting her by caressing her back didn\'t even notice me moving.

Right at the moment I wanted to ask what\'s wrong but when I moved my lips to ask the questions aloud no words emerged from my lips. Fear starts to build up inside me and I realize I wasn\'t prepared to hear their response. For if they tell me that the man I love was gone or something terrible happened to him, the news will surely break my heart greatly to the extent that it would be beyond repair.

Warmth spread on my eyes until my sight began to blur with tears. I want to cry but I know I must be strong but Ace would not want me to lose heart. I can\'t lose hope in times like this so I blinked back the tears and found the courage to ask the questions I dreaded.

"Papa…Claire…" I began to capture their attention. The tremor in my voice did not escape my ears.

Father looked at me. His inky eyes spoke of indescribable sadness. I didn\'t know why but looking into his eyes gave me an ominous feeling and I found myself diving

into the dark abyss of depression.

Father didn\'t say a thing. He just continued to stare at me as if he wasn\'t going to tell me anything. His eyes shifted to Claire as if he was asking for her permission. But Claire just looked at him and she did not utter a single word.

The fear gnawing inside me grew into the size of a monster. The two are acting weird and it\'s making me feel extremely worse each second. They could just tell me the bad news now. They are making me tense and I feel as if the suspense is killing me.

"Papa? Claire? Please tell me what\'s happening. Is Ace alright?" I asked, my rising several octaves due to panic. I told myself that I needed to be calm but how could I control my emotions if we are talking about Ace. They would be lying if they told me he was doing fine. He was shot with a bullet in the head and it\'s all because of me.

Ace saved my life. He shielded my body with his own body and the bullet that was meant for me hit him. . How am I supposed to be calm?

I forced myself to get up but as I did so the excruciating pain hit me in the head. I nearly forgot I was injured there. If we\'re not in pain I forgot that Vincd hit me with the vase on that spot.

Father told me to stay still on the bed but I stubbornly shook my head. He sighed in defeat and helped me ease my body from the bed until my back leaned on the headboard.

My hands automatically flew to the bandage in the head after I was sitting in a comfortable position. The pain that pounded my head slowly subsided. When the pain was entirely gone I returned my attention to my father. "Tell me please… What happened to Ace? It would kill me more if I don\'t know what happened to him… please." I pleaded miserably. If only I could kneel right at the moment so they would tell me the truth I will do it. Unfortunately I didn\'t recover all my strength so I couldn\'t.

Father avoided my gaze. Frustrated, I curled my fist into a ball and turned my attention to Ace\'s mother. "Claire…" I whispered and this time she reluctantly raised her face to me. Her swollen eyes met mine.

I swallowed the big lump on my throat. I could feel the intense pain dancing across her expressive sapphire eyes. I could see the truth right through her eyes. Right now her eyes were telling me that things are beyond worse.

I took a deep breath and braced myself for her words when her lips began moving. "Ace is comatosed. The doctor says that he has a low chance of waking up." She said and I felt as if I was painfully hit by a sharp bolt of lightning and I realized nothing could have prepared me for the news.

I paled under my skin. My lips opened to say something but I was surprised when nothing emerged from my lips.

My chest felt tight and a thousand knives seemed to pierce through my heart. The pain I felt after learning Ace\'s condition was indescribably painful. A part of me died…. And that part was once full of hope….So now I have nothing except desperation.

I told myself that I needed to be strong for him and for our children but that moment my world collapsed. The composure I tried so hard to maintain crumbled to the floor and I began sobbing.

It\'s okay to cry. I told myself as I buried my face into my palms. I needed to pour my heart out in order to ease the heaviness on my chest.

It\'s okay not to be okay….. Someday my eyes would be dry too.