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Still, she could not help but wish that what happened earlier did not happen altogether. It was a mistake. No, it was an accident that she had no control over.

“Excuse me, but I had to go to my room. I need to make a phone call.” She stood up from the table, grabbing her things, not waiting for anyone to acknowledge her, keeping her head down, and avoiding any eye contact.

She just had to get out of there before the air became suffocating. But she hardly walked out of the kitchen when she heard Evan making excused about hitting the shower.

He was indeed full of sweat from his jog.

Then, her mind reminded her how manly he smelled when she was enveloped in his arms just a while ago. “Stop it.” She chastised herself for even thinking about that.

She quickly moved before he could catch up with her and entered her room, locking it behind her. As if he would follow her, but still, she needed assurance.

.....

“What was I thinking kissing him?” She muttered to herself. It might have been an accident, but she felt that she had responded to him. Her lips moved voluntarily, following his lead.

Why? Why would she kiss him? What was wrong with her?

She walked back and forth inside her room, trying to make sense of her reaction to him. Did she like it? Honestly, she did. But she was in love with Lance, even though Lance did not love her. It just did not make sense.

“Ooohhh!” She felt more frustrated. Then, her mind reminded her of what it was like to be in his arms. And remembering his lips on hers.

What about him? Did he intentionally kiss her? Did he like kissing her?

“Stop!” She pulled her hair in apprehension. She should not be entertaining these thoughts.

She sat down on the edge of the bed as she calmed herself down. Then, she found her body falling on the soft mattress, her eyes staring at the beautifully decorated ceiling.

If she loved Lance, she should not have kissed Evan like that. Amelia tried to analyze her feelings about the man she always thought she would marry someday.

Was she so focused on Lance that she never considered that he might not be the one and there might be someone else for her?

Was it possible that what she thought was her forever and ever was not Lance after all?

“But I always love Lance.” She spoke softly in the air as if that should reassure her that she still did, but her heart and mind were now starting to question if it was true.

Then, her phone suddenly rang. She quickly rolled out of bed and grabbed her phone from her bag. But when she saw who was calling, she abruptly dropped it on the bed.

It was like she could not even talk to him, afraid of what he would say or what she might tell him. Suddenly, her mind was a big jumbled mess.

She wanted so much to believe that she could not be attracted to this man. He had admitted that he was a man whore. How could she trust a man like him? How could she even consider giving her heart to him?

Her phone beeped this time, signaling a message. She hesitated to look at it but remembered it might be something important. But when she scanned the incoming message, it still came from Evan.

I THINK WE NEED TO TALK

It was a short message, but she knew it meant a lot.

Was she ready to talk about this?

She grabbed her phone and started typing a reply but deleted it, thinking she might be making a mistake. But a knock on her door made her put down her phone, hearing her friend’s voice on the other side.

“Amelia, can we talk?” Her friend repeated when she failed to respond on her first call.

“Wait.” She quickly opened the door and allowed her friend entry inside. “Why don’t you sit down, Eida?” Guiding her on the chair by the window.

“I hope I did not catch you in a bad time.” Eida waited for her to take the other seat opposite her. “But I need to talk to you.”

Her friend dropped her eyes on her lap, watching her fingers squeeze her palm. Eida looked like she was about to cry, looking so guilty as she sat across from her.

“Hey, whatever this is about, it is not worth your tears.” Amelia extended her hand to her, holding her firmly in her grasp. “If this is about you and Lance, you have nothing to worry about because I understand.”

Finally, her friend looked up to her, still teary-eyed but with a smile on her lips. She somehow looked relieved that they finally had this one-on-one talk they did not have the chance to do in the hospital.

“We never wanted to hurt you. When I learned that we were talking about the same man, I tried to stay away from him. But I have never been with a man like him. He is special.” Eida started talking as her eyes finally shed tears.

“Yes, Lance is indeed a great man. That is why we both fell in love with him.” Amelia finally voiced what her friend could not say to her.

She knew that Eida had never believed in love, but she could see in her eyes how much she loved Lance. Eida might find it hard to admit it, but she could feel it in her tears.

“Do you think I can see him today?” Her friend asked, hopeful.

Amelia could hear the desperation in her voice, feeling the anguish she was going through, not knowing what future lay ahead of her and her future child.

Until Eida could see and talk to Lance, the future still looked bleak for them, not when the Count was standing in their way. She knew the Count would not simply stand aside.

“We can try to see him today if that is what you want.” Amelia would do anything for her friend, especially now that she needed her the most.

“How do you know that it is even love?” Eida suddenly asked her, confusion and fear written all over her face.

Eida finally let go of her as she stood up and stared at the window outside. Instinct must have kicked in when her hands automatically held on to her belly in a protective stance.

“You know when you would never want to hurt the one you love.” Amelia instantly answered. “That you are willing to give up your happiness for him.” She continued, speaking from her experience.

“But how about your happiness?” Eida looked at her as if she was asking her, not just a hypothetical question.

“I can always find happiness elsewhere, but I would not want him to feel obligated to love me because I am his responsibility,” Amelia answered truthfully, thinking of the arranged marriage her father wanted her to take.

Besides, she believed love should never be selfish.